We wither beneath your anger; we are overwhelmed by your fury. You spread out our sins before you—our secret sins—and you see them all. We live our lives beneath your wrath, ending our years with a groan. Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away. Who can comprehend the power of your anger? Your wrath is as awesome as the fear you deserve. Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. [Psalm 90.7-12]
How depressing, right?
Well, it is only depressing if we conclude there is no part we can play in it.
We must understand that God's "anger" and "fury" are not poured out randomly. We must be established in this - we must know it to the core of our existence. We must believe that God is good and that His fury is reserved for disobedience and unrighteousness.
"You spread out our sins before you—our secret sins—and you see them all..." tells it all. God sees our secret sins... but do we?
“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? [Jeremiah 17.9]
If our hearts are "the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked" then our "secret sins" may indeed be secret even to us!
So, there is no way we could ever look to God and say, "I do not deserve the hardships in my life!" How could we ever say that if we have no way to know our hearts?
Is there any hope? Yes, there is. His name is Jesus. There is a reason that Jesus' name was given to us to bring to our Heavenly Father!
Likewise, there is a reason we were given the Holy Spirit: to bring to our minds things we do not even know! The Holy Spirit was given to convict the world of sin, righteousness and judgment! Why? So that we might repent and experience the Kingdom of God! So that we might spread the message of repentance so that others might experience the Kingdom of God!
God's wrath is not unleashed without cause! And, God's blessings will not come upon the unrepentant! Because our hearts are deceitful and wicked, the only sure way we can know there is something lurking and growing in our hearts is God's fury - yes, difficulties are clear indicators that something is awry in our hearts (if we don't already "know" what is wrong).
One might argue that there is not enough time in the day to repent enough then to be miraculously healed, or provided for, or delivered... But who has really ever tried? I know I haven't. I have never spent an entire day seeking the help of the Holy Spirit to reveal hidden sin and repenting of it as He does. Never. But why not?
Why not? indeed... Because my arrogance and pride would rather suffer than admit guilt. How ridiculously arrogant and lazy is that?
Oh, and another consideration: there is no forgiveness for the unforgiving. Our "sin" may not be our own, but how we handle the sin of others! Pride and arrogance prevent us from repenting and pride and arrogance prevent us from forgiving!
Father, help me to get really real in my estimation of my self and my circumstances. Forgive me for pride and arrogance before You and Your Holy Spirit and Your Holy Word - forgive me for ignoring Jesus' ministry message: "Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand..."
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