Should I Expect To Receive Anything From The Lord?

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. [James 1.5-8] 

On this day in 2017, I wrote the article Divided Loyalty (Faith) = No Faith. It seems then, I was well on my way to the revelation of what modern day idols look like.

Then, on this day in 2023, I wrote the article Faith In God Alone. In that article I referenced "weeks and months" that the subject of divided loyalty had been a frequent focal point in my daily writings.

I suppose anyone tracking my writing would agree that the last year has been a torrent of writings about idolatry (divided loyalty). Now, in light of all my writing on the subject of idolatry, particularly as it relates to debt, insurance, medicine and technology, I must reveal something personal about myself that should be known. Stay with me here, because what I am about to say is as real as it gets...

I have no debt and I am a faithful tither, but I struggle to afford (on my now fixed income) basic upkeep on the things I own. 

I carry (pay dearly for) insurance (health, home, auto & life) that accounts for over 15% of my overall spending year-to-date. I only pay more for food.

I have neither seen a doctor nor taken medicine (no pain relievers or prescription drugs of any kind) for some time now except that I renewed a prescription for eyeglasses in the last year. However, among other physical issues that have become more persistent in my aging body over the last few years, my neck has become practically useless. I can barely hold my head up enough to look another person in the eye and my side to side range of motion is likely only single-digit degrees. Any attempt to raise or turn my head is met with pain. 

I use technology, but I try to avoid it using me (I resist buying - keeping up with - the "latest and greatest...").

Is it just coincidence that the digression of my physical and financial condition has been in step with the progression of my spiritual revelation about idolatry (evidenced in my writings at least back to 2017)? I have been "receiving revelation" decrying "foul" regarding idolatry in the industries of debt, insurance, medicine and technology. And, I have also repeatedly sought the Lord for healing in my neck (and other areas less obvious). But, I still pay for insurance (health, home, auto & life).

This is where I am... and, it sure seems hypocritical. Even though I see overwhelming documentation in the Bible repeatedly citing God's disdain for all idols (in which category debt, insurance, medicine and technology all fit perfectly), I have yet to make a clean and complete break from them myself. While I have published my thoughts on the subject of idolatry, I have not fully responded in my own actions. 

To date, my prayers for healing and provision remain unanswered. And, in all of this, the greatest point of discomfort for me spiritually and financially is insurance.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. [James 1.5-8] 

Should I expect to receive anything from the Lord? Should any of us expect to receive anything from the Lord when we are so intricately and deeply involved with debt, insurance, medicine and technology? 

Is it not just a soothing lie we tell ourselves to say God gave, and therefore uses debt, insurance, medicine and technology when there is no way we would willingly choose to live without them in active proof that we don't actually depend on them? How else can we be absolutely sure our faith is in God alone?

I told you this was going to get real...

And yet, Jesus' words resound with very "narrow" interpretation:

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. [Matthew 16.24 (also, Mark 8.34 & Luke 9.23)]

Father, I am asking for wisdom from You. With all that is in me, I am trying to shut out the voice and reasoning of the world so that I might fully expect my answer from You and You ALONE. In fact, Your Word has already spoken to my issues. Your Spirit is confirming. My flesh and worldliness however are screaming in resistance. May I find the courage and strength to willfully and purposefully act upon my faith in every way rejecting my fears in every action. Help me and all who share my concerns to be settled on our faith in You alone as we give up our own ways, take up our cross and follow Jesus. And, may we rightfully expect to receive everything we need from You! So be it.