Husbands and Wives

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. [1 Peter 3.1-2]

While it may at first appear I am about to put down 'some Bible' on wives, let me just proceed to refer to another scripture:

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. [1 Peter 3.7]

What I wish to point out today is, "In the same way..." is the point!

While it might be thought that when addressing the husbands that Peter was saying "in the same way" as with the wives. However, since Peter started his address to wives with "in the same way," I am going to conclude that Peter was referring both wives and husbands to the SAME way found a few sentences before:

For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. [1 Peter 2.21]

Married people need this message more than any message out there for couples. It is not ironic that Peter never even addressed "love" here in the marriage relationship. Why is that? Because singling out love (as the world knows it) in marriage is like cutting a limb off a tree in expectation for the whole tree to die. Modern society's definition of love is superficial and will not sustain a marriage (in fact, it will not sustain any relationship). I cannot help but believe that God knew well in advance that the word "love" would lose its Biblical meaning in future society, so He just went straight to the heart of love: willing to suffer for another.

Jesus defined it well in word and action:

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. [John 15.13]

This then is in keeping with what Peter wrote, "in the same way..."

Here is the bottom line: no marriage will work if there is not a willingness to suffer for one another. If two humans spend more than casual time together (in marriage or friendship), it will become necessary that one person will , at some point or another, need to suffer for the other. A relationship that survives in the presence of suffering is a Biblical relationship of love.

So, for all out there seeking the world's version of "love," I offer no solution. The shallow love the world presents is purely self-centered at best. You are destined to become a statistic.

However, for those who would delve into the fullest meaning and expression of the love of God I make this statement: bear with one another. The Apostle Paul concurs:

Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. [Ephesians 4.1-3]

and

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. [Colossians 3.12-13]

Husbands and wives share equally the responsibility to suffer for one another. It is not one-sided. Peter said, "in the same way..." (referring to suffering for one another) to both. In this relationship of willingness to suffer for one another, true love is found. The sad truth is, few ever find it. Most might suffer for a while but then lose sight of true love and opt for temporary worldly love. That is why divorce is pandemic. And, that is why the occurrence of divorce after divorce is even worse.

Jesus suffered and died for mankind. In return, mankind was given the opportunity to receive the gift of salvation. That is a pretty good return on Jesus' suffering - one that would never have been realized had He shortsightedly opted for the easy way out.

The best relationships we have here on earth are those that have been "tried by fire." One doesn't have to poll many couples or friends to learn that the best relationships are those that have weathered the worst storms. The reason is simple: There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Father, help us to understand the meaning of love and relationships. May we find the courage to weather the storms - to suffer as needed - to not only show true love, but to experience it.