The Power Of Relationship

Some time after this, King Nahash of the Ammonites died, and his son Hanun became king. David said, “I am going to show loyalty to Hanun because his father, Nahash, was always loyal to me.” So David sent messengers to express sympathy to Hanun about his father’s death. But when David’s ambassadors arrived in the land of Ammon, the Ammonite commanders said to Hanun, “Do you really think these men are coming here to honor your father? No! David has sent them to spy out the land so they can come in and conquer it!” So Hanun seized David’s ambassadors and shaved them, cut off their robes at the buttocks, and sent them back to David in shame. [1 Chronicles 19.1-4] 

One can never underestimate the power of a relationship. David's relationship with Nahash was powerful enough for the benefits to transfer to his son Hanun. But Hanun received bad advice from his commanders misinterpreting David's gesture of kindness.

What stands out to me is that the commanders likely included some who were also commanders under Nahash before Hanun became king. As such, they would have known David's and Nahash's relationship was a peaceful and beneficial one. However, that does not mean they liked it or even trusted David back then. But, because Nahash was king and had a relationship of trust with David, there would have been nothing they could do about it ...except fear.

I suspect fear was present in Nahash's commanders that passed on to Hanun's commanders. And, because Hanun was not the one with relationship with David, he was easily caught up in the commanders' fear himself. The rest was history.

Fear and mistrust go hand in hand. Relationship keeps fear and mistrust in check. These are facts of life.

The reason so many people think badly about God is because they lack relationship with Him personally. This is why so many children grow up in Christian homes only to betray God in their own adulthood. While at first, through Freudian reasoning, we may try to blame the parents for this mistrust, we must understand that there is no possible way the parents can "make" any child trust whom they (the parents) trust. Every child must choose for himself (like Hanun) to have relationship with their parents' God, or, to listen to others' advice otherwise. This does not exempt the parents from the responsibility of encouraging relationship with God, but they cannot force their children to have relationship with God.

Remember Hanun's commanders? The people parents hang out with could have much more influence on the lives of their children that they themselves have. Again, it doesn't make it right, but it is yet another fact. When faced with the relationship Hanun's father Nahash had with David versus the fears his commanders had of David, Hanun sided with the commanders. And, it was a huge, life-changing mistake not only for Hanun personally, but for all the Ammonite people. Hanun could only later "wish" he had relationship with David like his father had! The opportunity was there, but he listened to the wrong crowd.

This story has been repeated over and again all through history as we know it. Even if our parents failed miserably to pass on their relationship with God to us (if even they had one themselves), the Bible stands clear on the topic. Each child must choose for themselves whether to have relationship with God or not. And, so they do, and have done, for all history.

Father, help us to see our personal responsibility to trust You. Help us to see that, like Hanun, we each have a choice to trust You (and establish our own relationship with You) or not. May we choose wisely! So be it.