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Wednesday, May 29, 2024

You Are Dead To Me vs. I Am Dead To You

Hiding hatred makes you a liar; slandering others makes you a fool. [Proverbs 10.18]

This verse of wisdom from Proverbs leaves little wiggle room. In a society that has completely lost touch with God's Word, Proverbs 10.18 defines the folly of self-love - "you are dead to me."

The world is rife with sayings about people who are "done" with other people. New and wittier ways of saying the same thing pop up daily in social media and elsewhere. The irony of all these sayings, besides just being flat-out wrong according to the Bible (1 Corinthians 13.4-7), is that they are still inherently slandering others (i.e.. "you know who you are...") and, according to Proverbs 10.18 this renders the one who declares such sayings a fool.

On the other hand, it just feels wrong to conceal hatred. And, it is.

So, we are not supposed to hide hatred, but we are also not supposed to slander others... What in the world then are we to do?

There is no other way except the Way of Jesus:

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” [Luke 23.34a]

AND THEN... He died.

The same problem exists whether a person is hiding hatred or slandering others - in both conditions they remain alive to the offense. Many will say, "that person is dead to me,"  but that solution is a fallacy. Contrary to popular social norm, "that person" is not the one who needs to be dead! As Jesus modeled for us, the person against whom the crime is committed is the person who must die to the offense if it is to be truly forgiven.

Unforgiveness is a disease like no other. Of all the diseases known to man, unforgiveness is the least recognized and therefore most grossly misdiagnosed. Unforgiveness lies at the root of every sickness and disease known to man... Let's see what God's Word says about it.

“If you refuse to obey all the words of instruction that are written in this book, and if you do not fear the glorious and awesome name of the LORD your God, then the LORD will overwhelm you and your children with indescribable plagues. These plagues will be intense and without relief, making you miserable and unbearably sick. He will afflict you with all the diseases of Egypt that you feared so much, and you will have no relief. The LORD will afflict you with every sickness and plague there is, even those not mentioned in this Book of Instruction, until you are destroyed. [Deuteronomy 28.58-61]

This passage reveals in no uncertain terms that sickness is directly tied to sin. But, how does that apply to me if someone else sins against me? This is exactly the right question to ask! And, the answer is found in the words of none other than Jesus:

But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. [Matthew 6.15]

Our unforgiveness of others is God's unforgiveness of us. If we refuse to forgive, then we are in blatant disobedience (sin) and subject to every curse found in Deuteronomy 28.

Jesus did not forgive us for unforgiveness. Our "cross to bear" is literally one and the same as was Jesus'. Like Jesus, we should say, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And then, on our own cross, we need to die to it!

We don't need others to be dead to us! We need to be dead to them. If we are truly "crucified with Christ" (Galatians 2.20) then no offense launched against us in any quantity has any effect on us because you can't hurt a dead man.

If I am "crucified with Christ" then I am "risen to life in Christ" and all is forgiven. No weapon formed against me shall prosper (Isaiah 54.17) as I remain in Christ. If we refuse to die to ourselves in Christ and so forgive, Galatians 2.20 and Isaiah 54.17 have no application to us whatsoever. NONE!

In practice, we really don't need to learn how to live as popular opinion would have us to believe. What we need to do is learn how to die. Think about that.

I invite you to pray this prayer with me:

Father, I am convicted of my unforgiveness of others. In fact, I am a diseased mess of unforgiveness - dying a physical death now with the implication of eternal death to follow. I plead, "Jesus." Help me turn loose of those who have offended me - those who have hurt me - those who have taken from me - those who have misunderstood me - those who have slandered me - and even those who have rightly called out my sin... In Jesus' name, dear Father, please forgive me. Help me learn how to die indeed in Christ so that I might live IN HIM both now and forever!

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