And Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah’s tent, and she became his wife. He loved her deeply, and she was a special comfort to him after the death of his mother. [Genesis 24.67]
Our modern society is so far from ancient customs that we rarely understand some of the things we read in the Bible, an ancient writing.
Understanding the role of a woman in a man's life and the role of a man in a woman's life should be a much more important study than it is today.
Sure, we understand some of the basics, but I think we should give more thorough thought to the underlying factors in why a man and a woman need each other. But, to do so, we are faced with the unpopular challenge of abandoning modern culture. Unfortunately, living outside modern culture is neither easy nor popular.
Because we are all humans, created in the image of God, I 'get it' that equality is an important social ideal. However, demanding equality among men and women is like demanding equality between apples and oranges.
It is quite difficult to establish convention for equality between things that are inherently different!
Oh boy, here we go...
I occasionally work with tools. So, I will use tools to make my point. However, rather than making wildly obvious comparisons between, let's say, a hammer and a saw (both being tools), I will more appropriately discuss the comparison between a miter saw and a table saw. Both are not only tools, but they are both saws. Both are specifically for the purpose of cutting wood. Both make only straight cuts. Both run off of electricity. Both produce sawdust. In some cases, a table saw can make a cut that a miter saw should be used for and a miter saw likewise can make a cut that a table saw should be used for. However, in the overall 'production' of a building project, all things go better when the appropriate saw is used for the job. The finished project is all the better for the builder having used the specific tool for the specific job.
So it is with a man and a woman. Both are human. Both, in their reproductive capacity, reproduce only other human life. Both require food. Both produce waste. A woman can do many of the things a man's physique and psychic are better designed for and a man can do many of the things a woman's physique and psychic are better designed for. The proof then, like with woodworking tools, is found in the finished project...
What is the finished project? A family. It is children who will grow up and make more children, and on and on...
Question (back to the scripture above): why couldn't Abraham comfort his son Isaac in the death of his mother? And, what difference does it make anyway? Well, that is where our society is so far off...
The comfort Isaac received from his new wife would certainly have had to do with the "female touch." In just one specific area (don't be shocked), there was, no doubt, a certain amount of comfort in Isaac feeling his wife's breasts - a very familiar and comforting feeling as a mother's breasts, in an era of "breast-feeding only" gave no uncertain amount of comfort to a male child in particular. But breasts are not all the female touch is about... women possess a uniquely and desirably "softer" physical and emotional presence. Nothing pronounces this more than when her first child is born.
By design, it seems that women crave more security from their father. Yes, "mother" is there in great comforting capacity, but in a functional family, young females crave and need the security of their fathers. Note the word "functional" in the previous sentence.
So, the marriage 'benefit' is not just one-sided. A woman, having become married finds male security transferred from "father" to "husband." Similarly, a man, having married, finds comfort transferred from "mother" to "wife." There is a natural vulnerability in both sides. But the combination of the two creates the perfect "breeding ground" not only for precious little humans, but for the entire concept of "family."
It is not ironic that the security a woman desires brings her comfort, and, the comfort a man desires brings him security.
Oh, but my thoughts here are not just ignored by modern society, they are loathed. And, consequently, the finished product suffers. "Family" is largely no longer a place of lasting security and comfort, but a place where specific needs are being pitifully and inaccurately "addressed" (as opposed to "met") with the "wrong tools." In other words, none of the magnificent fulfillment that comes from the specific natural and proper working-together of genders (the right tools) is being employed. Unsurprisingly, the confusion of gender "roles" in our society has now naturally and sadly resulted in the confusion of "gender" itself.
There is so much more that could be discussed here - my mind races with thoughts of how brilliantly well-matched males and females are for each other in the institution of marriage. I am convicted of how poorly I have performed as a man, a husband, and a father. I am immeasurably proud of my wife - my homemaker wife, who has by example (for nearly 40 years now) confirmed to me what the Bible teaches. I am equally ecstatic that my children, even with my deficient example, are demonstrating a much more Biblical example of family than most (thank God for their mother!!! - see, it works!)!
Oh how far we have strayed as a society from something that is as good and wholesome as a Biblical marriage and family!
Father, forgive me for my overwhelming failure as a man, husband, and father as I see it today. Help me to understand Your design and simply walk in it - on purpose! Help me to give the security my wife and family need - including all the comfort it gives...
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